It's one of the most under-reported crimes nationwide, yet one-in-four women you know will be affected by domestic violence.

Often, women stay in the relationship because leaving, could be deadly.

It's been five years since the Nebraska legislature created a law to classify domestic violence as a distinct crime with tougher penalties for repeat offenders.

While some say these are steps in the right direction, they also say abuse between intimate partners is on the rise -- across the state and in Lancaster County.

"He took me to a cornfield and took out a gun and put it to my head and he had tears rolling down his face and he said that he was sorry that he was going to have to kill me..."

At 23, Jody Schaubroeck thought she would die at the hands of her husband; as a victim of domestic violence.
More than 20 years later, the memories are still vivid.

"These abusers are so good at what they do and with the fear and intimidation that occurs when they're not beating you," said Schaubroeck.

The beatings she endured are hard to imagine but Schaubroeck's relationship didn't start out physically violent and experts say many don't.

Marcee Metzger is the executive director of Voices of Hope in Lincoln - a crisis center for abuse victims. According to Metzger, victims often don't know they're a victim.

"I would say when people are first in a relationship that evolves into a domestic violence relationship they aren't afraid. They are treated in a way that's been respectful or romantic and in many ways, draws them into that relationship," said Metzger.

With more than 30 years of experience working with domestic violence, Metzger can paint the faces of an abuser, but says you may be surprised by their profiles. Often they have a public and private face they show.

"And so that private face is the one that's using all the tactics,threats, the violence and the public face may be that he's the elder in his church or he's the coach of the little league team."

In 2008, Voices of Hope saw more than 2,000 new clients -- an increase from 2007. Friendship home also had more people requesting shelter, according to a study by the Family Violence Council.

Metzger thinks part of the hike is due to more people seeking help but she says domestic abuse is on the rise, with even higher numbers so far this year.

"I've been doing this for 30 years and I've not seen the amount of physical violence and the number of people coming forward and disclosing at a much younger age..that are not married," she said.

Married or not, many outside the abuse question why victims don't leave.

But it's not that simple.

Leaving at the wrong time, without a plan can be even more dangerous because an abuser is stripped of their control.

"More people are killed, more people are physically injured, severely, life threatening when they are in the process of leaving," said Metzger.

Since 1996, 13 people have been killed in domestic violence homicides -- just in Lancaster County. In almost all of the cases, the victim either left or was trying to.

Schaubroeck waited a long time before leaving her abuser and will be the first to tell you, it's not easy.

"Just leaving him and being on the streets was just too much of a vulnerable target because he would have found me.."

If you're in a violent situation and need help, you can call the Voices of Hope hot line at 402-475-7273. It will ring directly to counselors with voices of hope. The help is free, confidential and available 24 hours a day.

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